Zodiac Sign 2023: Lift your chicken wings and toast your domestic beers, because a beloved, if unofficial, American holiday has arrived. Super Bowl Sunday will be held on February 12, 2023, and the Philadelphia Eagles will face the Kansas City Chiefs on the neutral field of The State Farm Arena in Glendale, Arizona. The stakes are high, and bets are being placed, as Travis and Jason Kelce prepare to become the first pair of siblings to face each other in a Super Bowl.
Furthermore, Pisces priestess Rihanna is set to do a halftime concert, marking her triumphant return to public performance after a five-year absence. In 2018, the artist declined a performance offer due to the NFL’s treatment of Colin Kaepernick.
While Rihanna’s appearance is priceless, a Super Bowl commercial spot is infamously expensive. Sarah McLachlan will be promoting Busch Lite (yes, you read that correctly), Steve Martin and Ben Stiller will be slinging barbs for Pepsi, and Alicia Silverstone will be recreating Cher Horowitz for Rakuten.
In honor of this titanic clash, Rihanna’s homecoming, and the abundance and grandeur of American advertising, we’ve compiled a list of the greatest ways to celebrate Super Bowl Sunday based on your zodiac sign.
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Aries Zodiac Sign (March 21 – April 19)
The Superbowl is a rare and welcome opportunity for members of Team Aries to go full throttle and throw rage tantrums without shame. Go ahead and curse an inanimate object, and for once in your fire-breathing life, you won’t appear insane, just excited.
Taurus Zodiac Sign (April 20 – May 20)
If Taurus had the option, he would prefer to die by eating buffalo chicken dip till he died. Bulls were created to graze, so bring on the taco dip, pigs in a blanket, potato skins, subpar grocery store cheese plates, and all other types of game day indulgence.
Gemini Zodiac Sign(May 21 – June 20)
Gemini rules the third house of communication, which residents adore. So, while they’re watching the game out of the corner of their eye, they’re also catching up on various cellular distractions, such as trolling for strange, doom scrolling, learning how to air fry on TikTok, reading about unsolved murders on Reddit, and/or airing a friend’s dirty laundry in group chat.
Cancer Zodiac Sign (June 21 – July 22)
It would be wise to retreat to the safe and reasonably tranquil environment of the kitchen and prepare snacks and refill beverages. This cardinal water sign is opposed to contacting sports and is only hosting/attending a Super Bowl party because it was/is essential to their significant other. Love entails sacrifice, a seven-layer dip, and keeping a new kind of score.
Leo Zodiac Sign (July 23 – August 22)
Leo is all about creating, arranging, and professionally capturing any type of gathering. Lions, like a real-life Broadway musical, has the remarkable capacity to incorporate a spontaneous sing-along/dance sequence/photo shoot into a funeral, potluck, full moon ritual, business mixer, or Super Bowl party. Prepare your pom poms and your camera.
Virgo Zodiac Sign (August 23 – September 22)
Virgo loves to study and instruct, so prepare for game day by getting down to business and learning the ins and outs of regulations, loopholes, fouls, and technicalities. Later, when calls are made and whistles are blown, you can assume your preferred role as the brightest person in the room.
Libra Zodiac Sign (September 23 – October 22)
Libra is ruled by Venus, the planet of love, art, and aesthetics. As a result, natives prefer enabling glow-ups to growl their disgust in front of a big-screen television. Leverage your passion for beauty by painting the faces of your friends and ardent fans.
Scorpio Zodiac Sign (October 23 – November 21)
Scorpio is a fixed water sign that rules the eighth house of sex, death, and regeneration. They are preternaturally blessed with intuition and psychic aptitude because they are hypersensitive to the moods and motives of others. Natives can commercialize that mode by spectacularly revealing the winner in an off-putting riddle ahead of the halftime show before disappearing in a puff of smoke and smugness.
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Sagittarius Zodiac Sign (November 22 – December 21)
Sagittarius is ruled by the lucky planet Jupiter, making them the resident gambler of the zodiac. Spin the dice and cast your bets on everything from the winner to the total yards to the color of the famous Gatorade bath.
Capricorn Zodiac Sign (December 22 – January 19)
Capricorn is a hardworking sign that values gains, strategy, and media manipulation. Sea goats have a business mind and understand that the Super Bowl is not about who wins or loses, but about which brand was most effective in compelling the captive masses to part with their wealth.
Aquarius Zodiac Sign (January 20 – February 18)
Aquarius is an extreme lot, so they’re likely to be either huge fans or wholly uninterested participants in the arcane ritual of collective sports, but the Super Bowl gives impetus for them to emerge from their isolationist cocoons/bunkers to eat cheese and conduct normal sociability.
Pisces Zodiac Sign (February 19 – March 20)
Pisces are romantics who prefer music to sports and love to violence. They’re also renowned for being drunk before the second quarter, but with one of their own, HRH Rihanna, due to take the stage, they could just make it to halftime without being half in the bag.
